What a year it's been.
Today is the official anniversary of
Mom's last laugh and last breath. And so, on this meaningful day, I want to
share the stepouts for a beautiful tangle that I created in memory of my Mom.
Switching gears, but it's definitely still on topic: I'd like to give a BIG shout-out to my
friend Jessica Davies, CZT, of Salted Pink Studio for giving me the name before
I had even developed the tangle! I was in a group chat with her and a few other
CZTs. I was experiencing FOMO (Fear of Missing Out, you know) about an upcoming
online retreat, so as I was trying to decide whether or not to sign up (I wasn't
sure the timing would work for me), I mentioned I had FOMO, and Jessica's
immediate reponse was, "No FOMO!"
Which sounded like an awesome tangle name.
Thank you, Jessica! It just needed a tangle to go with it.
I had personal
reasons for wanting to come up with the perfect tangle for "NoFOMO". It took me
a few weeks, but then, ta-daaaaa!!! I had come up with what I feel is the
perfect NoFOMO tangle. FOMO, you see, is different for each of us. In order to
manage FOMO, we have to look inward and deal with our thoughts and feelings. And
we have to look outward and manage our time, resources, and reality. What is
possible? What opportunities are to be pursued, which should be released? How
can FOMO be relieved? Do you find a way to participate in whatever you are
afraid of missing out on? Or do you find a way to let it go and move on? Do you
need to grieve? Do you need to find a distraction? There are choices to be made
in the process of dealing with FOMO, right?!
So, this tangle is about defining a
context, a frame. You might say it represents whatever it is that you fear
missing out on. And then you choose what to do on the inside. Do you treat the
space as one area, or divide into smaller areas to work with? You choose what to
do with the space, the void, within. And then you decide how to manage and make
the most of the space beyond. The area surrounding the frame. Are you still with
me? Does it make sense?
This tangle can make use of a particular curvy shape the
looks like an ornamental letter "C". It has a bulb at either end, like the
tangle mooka. And it's a shape I keep noticing on all sorts of things!
Silverware. A decorative easel. A trellis in a potted plant at my cousin's
church's labyrinth in Texas. So I decided that not only did NoFOMO need to be
the name of a tangle, but that this shape, which I like to use when I draw
NoFOMO, needed a name. So I came up with one that acknowledges that it looks like
like a double-ended strand of mooka: mirrooka. You can see it in action in my stepouts below! And below my stepouts, you can
read a bit more about how this relates to my Mom's passing one year ago.
September 4...last year it was the Sunday of Labor Day weekend. This year, of
course, the 4th (today) falls on a Monday. So yesterday felt like the one-year
mark, being the Sunday of this holiday weekend. I decided it was time to finally
get my stepouts finished for publishing in remembrance of this significant day.
So that's what I did yesterday. I finally made my "polished" steputs of a
beautiful tangle I had been drawing for months, and even teaching when I had the
chance.
You see, NoFOMO is the tangle I created to honor Mom and my family's
memories of her last weekend in this realm. We knew she was dying, had very little time left. Mom had reached the end of
her journey, and her husband, children, and grandchildren were all there with
her at Mom & Dad's apartment. My sister and her kids (all in their 20s) had come
down from Washington, DC and Virginia on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, and
my own kids (also in their 20s) drove down from Ohio later in the day, and didn't arrive until 1am,
the wee hours of Sunday morning.
We then proceeded, in the middle of the night
(!) to commence with the merriment of all being together, looking through stacks
of photos and mementos that Mom had waiting for us. She had hoped to drift away
peacefully, surrounded by her family chatting and laughing (as we alway do)
sharing memories prompted by the photos. But every time she drifted away, she
couldn't quite leave completely. She'd open her eyes and contribute to the
stories. Sometimes she'd say something that didn't quite make sense to us, but
she was still engaging, and most of the time, what she said was spot on,
relevant...and so funny it cracked us up! So our vigil with Mom felt more like a
family party. And Mom didn't want to miss out on any of the fun. She couldn't
leave the party.
So at 81.5 years, on high levels of oxygen 24/7, my amazing Mom
pulled and all-nighter. At about 5 am, we all realized what was going on. Mom
was experiencing FOMO: Fear of Missing Out. She was not afraid to die; her faith
was in her Lord and Savior, and she was not afraid to leave this world and meet
her Maker. Her body was not serving her any more. But she did not want to leave
the party. FOMO. So that's why I wanted to create NoFOMO. To honor Mom's last
hurrah, as well as the legacy of love and service she left behind. I love you and
miss you, Mom.
Mom made it through that Saturday night well into Sunday, and we teased her about having FOMO. She had never heard of it, so we explained it to her. She was quite amused and had to tell her hospice nurse about it when the nurse came to the apartment to check in on her. Even on what turned out to be her last day, she was learning and laughing, in addition to loving. Her time after that dwindled down. She stayed as long as she could, and then made her exit. We weren't ready, but she was. We knew she needed to go, and she reassured us that it was okay.
Teaching at a Jewish school, I have learned that the anniversary
of the date of passing is very significant; it's called Yahrzeit. That is about
all I know, but now I would like to learn more. I'll light a candle for her
tonight, though I won't leave it burning for the traditional 24 hours due to safety concerns.
So...how do you like NoFOMO? It's a tangle that plays so well with others! I'd
love to see ways that NoFOMO appears in YOUR drawings, whether it's a page in a
sketchbook, a traditional tile, or a piece of Zentangle Inspired Art (ZIA). Take
care . . . and maybe make your Mom a piece of art! I wish I'd made more for
mine. Or maybe make a piece of art WITH your Mom, or Dad, or Grandparent, or
sibling, or son or daughter, or niece or nephew, or all of the above, if
feasible. But most importantly, MAKE MEMORIES to cherish. NoFOMO is a definitely a memory in the form of a tangle! Remember to define your frames, and explore and nurture the space within and the space beyond.
